Digging through old school records, I found one of my elementary report cards. In the comments on the back, my 4th grade teacher* had written: “Cara is a silent force.” It made me laugh, because she was right. I got things done, did them well, and didn’t ever speak up in class.
Here’s the thing: It’s not just me.
You are also a silent force. You get things done, amazingly well, and rarely speak up for what you need. You’re not completely silent, but other priorities come first. (Usually everything else.) Silence keeps you exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling powerless to change the dynamic. (Add the extra layer of challenging children and it feels impossible.) Like if you spoke up, a waterfall of emotion and unmet needs would flatten any listener. Or you can’t even remember what you wanted, needed, or enjoyed.
Your needs might make others uncomfortable or upset the apple cart: What would people think? What about XYZ for the kids? Who do you think you are?
Please upset the apple cart!
It’s how you change the world.
Speak up about what you need, otherwise the patterns persist. (Even now, we have more options than previous generations, but none of the old expectations around motherhood went away! You still carry it all.) Consider the apple cart falls over and everyone gets THE apple a day they need to keep the doctor away! Who says we need to carry apples in a cart anyway? How about we nurture our own tree?
(Ok, taking the analogy too far. 😉)
You are a FORCE. For change OR the status quo.
Imagine feeling incredible everyday. Having the energy and reserve to handle life’s challenges. Knowing you’re supported in speaking up for what you need. Imagine the shift as your family WITNESSES how your wellbeing impacts everyone positively. When you break old, generational patterns, you change the world. It’s that simple. THAT is your power as a mother: to stop harmful patterns and choose a healthy, thriving course for your family. Including yourself!
(This is not to say that just YOUR family is messed up. We all live in a society that passes down generations of trauma, cultural expectations, and baggage that we often don’t notice until it’s too late. It’s not just you.)
As we end this interesting year, here’s my commitment to you:
I will speak up.
I will support you in thriving. To do so, I’ll be making offers for coaching and working with me. My work helps you enjoy life, feel strong and energized, create practices that keep you centered, creative, and powerful. If you don’t know about them, it won’t help you much!
Adios to the ‘silent force’ and hello to a wave of powerful, creative, energized mamas who change the world.
Enjoy your holiday season, awkward as it may be, and let yourself envision how you want to feel in 2021. There are good things ahead for you. And all of us.
Holiday Hugs and HoHoHos,
Cara
*My 4th grade teacher ended up naming her daughter Cara, so I’m pretty sure I was her favorite. 😁
FYI. If you’re wondering what coaching with me looks like, it’s a blend of undoing old patterns, boosting desires, and enjoying customized yoga practices. All with a side of grace, humor, and creative play. ❤️ I’m adding 10 clients in January, so if you want one of the spots or more information, click here to schedule a consult.❤️